Absenteeism

I've called this meeting today to discuss a growing concern in this organization... Absenteeism!

A brisk cup of ...

There's nothing like a brisk cup of coffee in the morning.
There's nothing like a brisk cup of tea in the morning.
There's nothing like a brisk cup of ... Sheffield, WHAT is this mess?

Joke's on you...

How many bosses does it take to change a light bulb?
I know it only takes one boss ...to change his whole staff!

Call it what it is...

Will you call my driver Sheffield for me?
Sure.
Thank you.
I always do because ... that's his name.

Mind Tricks

Sometimes a person's mind plays tricks on him.
[fish holds up "hello" sign]
My mind must be really tricky!

Capable of anything

Gert, have you seen my telephone?
How can you misplace a telephone?
She obviously doesn't know my capabilities!

Worthy adversary

Mr. Wiggles doesn't want to be disturbed. He's playing chess.
He must have found someone he thinks he can beat.
[fish holding up "Check Mate" sign]

Picture worth a thousand words

Leonard, as our accountant, could you show us what our financial picture looks like?
Sure, Boss!
[holds up picture of a sinking ship]

Start at the bottom

Did you know, when I was your age, I also worked in the mail room?
I sure do, Mr. Wiggles!
We're still trying to straighten out the mess that you created!

Exercise and pay

Your idea to have a company exercise room was good, Phillips!
However, my idea was even better!
... Have Coin-Operated exercise equipment.

Destined for greatness

Has anyone ever told you that you were destined for greatness?
Why...er...no, Gert!
That's good!